Perspective

Stress seems to accumulate in our lives throughout our high school years. Freshman year you think you can't handle all of the new responsibilities as the amount of work you must do increases. Sophomore year you look back at freshman year and are thankful for how easy it truly was, because work is even harder and more time consuming now. Junior year, you almost beg to go back to freshman and sophomore years because with the addition of advanced classes and the pressure of getting your GPA up, your stress level goes through the roof. And then comes senior year. Senior year is supposed to be the year of partying and living it up. It is supposed to be the year of little stress and blow-off classes. But once you reach your senior year, you realize that it is anything but all of those things. Yes, some things are great, like senior out, and no curfew. However with the impending pressure of making sure you pass all of your classes, and getting accepted to the university of your dreams, or making the decision of which university you want to commit to, stress reaches new extremes. On top of all of that you have to worry about sending graduation invites out, then sending thank you cards, filling out all of the paperwork that goes along with registering for college, and so many other things that you will not understand until you actually experience it for yourself.

I'm not going to lie. I am terrified. College seems like such a scary thing to me. Exciting... but scary. It will be the first time I have ever lived away from this very house, and the first time that I will be on my own and have the responsibility of making sure I get everything done myself, because I wont have my parents there to constantly remind me. I'm nervous for the classes and I'm praying that I don't get too stressed, but as you can tell, I do not handle stress very well. My boyfriend and I are going to stay together since it will be his senior year in high school and I will be staying pretty close for college, but as much as I love him and want to stay with him, I just know that the distance is going to just be one more stress that I am going to have to deal with. I am praying that we can make it. It also doesn't help that none of my friends will be attending UTA with me next year. My friends are my everything and it is going to be an extremely scary thing to have to make all new friends. I am going to miss everyone so much. Wow, I am tearing up just thinking about this already. I have a feeling that my nerves on college will be the subject of most of my posts for a while now.

On a separate note, we got a new puppy! His name is Pete and he is half chihuahua and half weiner dog. He is so ugly that he is actually pretty cute, if that makes sense. All he does all day is run around in circles and follow my sister and I around until he gets hungry or has to pee. He is also a cuddler. He loves to curl up underneath a blanket with us and sleep there. I love him already :)

This is Pete :)

So long, bloggers.

More tomorrow, I hope.

Crayons can melt on us for all I care.

stress stresS streSS strESS stRESS sTRESS STRESS! Can you tell I am a bit stressed at the moment? ha.. a bit stressed.. thats a bit of an understatement. Here is my To-Do list!
1. Bake cookies and other finger foods for an event tomorrow evening.
2. Get 3 bands to confirm for the fundraiser event on June 4th
3. Register for college
4. Get and send final transcript to college
5. Register for classes at UT Arlington
6. Buy supplies for Europe trip this summer
7. Plan decorations for fundraiser event
8. Plan and make food for fundraiser event
9. Do 6 weeks of Government homework in 3 weeks
10. Finish portfolio for the graphic design Media Arts Review
11. Keep this blog updated
12. Address and mail graduation invitations
13. Get a hold of the high school newspaper and news broadcasting class and get a story about the fundraiser published
14. Make time for my friends whom I have been unintentionally neglecting
15. Make time for my amazing boyfriend
16. Make sure I pass astronomy
...There's probably more but as you can tell, my mind is already so consumed with all of these things, that I am having trouble focusing on anything specific.
I hope I'm not doing too much... I hope I can handle this... and I hope it all works out...
That's all for today. Now to get started on this list.......

Crazy Bitch

Today was interesting, to say the least. Waking up to a room that is darker at that time, than it was the night before when you went to sleep is a terribly confusing occurrence. You wake up and find yourself thinking that you have gone insane for waking up before the sun! Then you look at your clock and find out it's noon already... mind=blown. Thats how you know that it is going to be a good day; when you wake up, and nothing makes sense. It wasn't until I stepped into the shower that I realized I had been humming to the tune of my ringtone Big Girls, you are Beautiful by Mika. Go listen to it and tell me that that's not embarrassing. Well after my shower I looked down at the clothes I had selected to wear, then looked at my comfy pj's and decided that it was a pajama day.

There's always some sort of comfort in being able to sit on your couch with messy hair, with no make-up, wearing dorky pajamas, and watching Criminal Minds while listening to the rain, and not have to worry about anyone judging how you look. It is very peaceful, which is exactly what I needed.

I did a lot of thinking today. I realized I haven't been making as much time for my friends as I should. And I don't necessarily mean hanging out with them, I mean even just talking to them. Like my friend Mo for example. He texted me this morning and I realized that it must have been at least 3 weeks since we spoke last. Him and I used to talk every day without fail. I miss that. Then there's my friend Donnie. Him and I have somewhat of a history together, but have remained close friends throughout it all. (That is all a story for a different time). But I realized that it has been weeks since I have seen him. When his car broke down today it was the perfect opportunity to see him. Since my boyfriend is a car guy it was only common sense that we went to help Donnie out. It was good seeing him. Then Clint and I got some alone time before he had to go to choir practice for his church. We spend about an hour just finding and playing random apps on our iPhones together. We always find something to do. When Clint left, "shit hit the fans" unfortunately. My dad decided to get angry for literally no reason at all. He ended up leaving. Now, when I am stressed out or mad I do one of three things: I either drive my car like a bat out of hell (unfortunately I still do not have my poor little car back yet), blast my "angry" music really loud, or I bake.

So tonight for dinner, I baked my family a beautiful garlic, sage, and rosemary chicken, with roasted potatoes and various veggies. It was fantastic, to say the least. And for dessert I made a chocolate canoli cake which my mom tells me also turned out great (At that point I was too full from the delicious chicken to eat any of the dessert). My dad finally came home, made himself a plate for dinner, ate the dessert I made, and didn't say a word to me. I'd prefer that over the yelling any day.

So what I learned today is that friends are there for you no matter what. And good friends will stick by you even when you fuck up. So try your best to make time for them, even if it is just to say hi a couple times a week. Also, when someone is angry for no apparent reason, it is best to just keep quiet and let them realize how stupid they are being on their own. They will never admit they were wrong, but if you fight back, you are only going to make it worse.

So have a great week, fellow bloggers!
This is me, Signing off.
....... ha.