I'm working on seriously revamping this blog. I have been slacking quite a bit and realize that I have so many College stories to tell!
First things first: I officially have a 4.0 GPA :) yay me! secondly, I finally got something I've been wanting since I lost it the first time back at the beginning of my senior year in High school. My ex boyfriend and I are finally back together. We had agreed upon seeing other people back then because both of us were so young and we wanted to make sure we were right for each other. We each had another relationship after that and for both of us, those were a mistake. But now we have reconnected and it's the real deal. His mom cried when she found out that we were back together :) happy tears of course. and my parents have never been happier either.
Life is looking good :)
Starting with my next post I will try to keep this blog less personal and more entertaining: More stories, opinions on controvercial topics, pictures, and probably a few recipes. :) I hope you all enjoy!
Much Love
-RoxiJane
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sometimes you just need a kick in the ass...
If you are reading this (and you know who you are), then please do not take offense to what I'm saying. You know very well that I am much better at explaining myself in writing then I am in speaking. There are multiple reasons why I broke up with you.
College has changed me so much. It has been a change for the better, but still a change. And you are still in high school so you can't understand. I know you say that you are looking toward the future, but you're not. You don't care about school, you don't care about football, you don't care about getting a job... what do you care about? How am I supposed to concentrate on college myself if I feel like I constantly have to tell you to study. I am not your mother, but I feel like if I didn't do any of that, you would never make it to college. I am not your babysitter. Our maturity levels are so different right now and you are living in this fantasy where "oh we are gonna go to college together and I can't wait to marry you!" but that is all it is; a FANTASY. Do you actually realize what it is going to take for you to get to that point?? I am living with the reality that the next 4 years are going to define my life. I am practically living on my own. I have to start thinking about getting a career that will make me successful throughout my life. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with possibly marrying someone who can't even pass math models? I know you are smart. I know you could probably make an A in that class. The only problem is, you don't care. You don't care how successful you will be one day, you dont care if you will have a stable job one day, you don't care if you are going to be able to support your family one day or not. Because if you cared about any of that, I know you would be trying so much harder. But once again, its not real to you. If you want success and happiness, you need to work at it. And right now you aren't even close.
I understand that this is your first relationship, I was the same way in my first relationship. But you have to remember that this is not my first relationship. It is not just a game to me. I hate the word "clingy" but that is exactly what you are. I need space. I need to breathe. You need to realize that you can live without me. What happened to the guy that you were when we first met? The one who said "I will never be whipped" and "If you walk out, don't expect me to come after you". Look in the mirror. If I told you to jump, you would probably ask me how high. And I HATE that. I know it sounds cliche, but I need a man to take care of me. I don't want to take care of a boy.
And then comes the whole topic of hygene. Yes I know you take plenty of showers, but that isn't what I mean. I am talking about the burping. Yes, it was funny at first when you would burp and I would say "NICE!" But it has gotten to the point where all you ever do is burp. And it is gross. Do you really have to burp after drinking water?! And then to burp right in my face right before you kiss me? No thank you. I do not like that.
Then the lying. First of all I am still pretty convinced that you in fact did smoke weed that one time that I surprised you. But that isn't even what I am talking about. How stupid do you think I am? Do you really think I EVER believed that you had a badass mustang, and stole cars, and knew a guy that made special alcohol just for you? do you really think I believed that you had a rich uncle who had your huge dog and 3 super nice super rare cars? News flash: You are not a badass. I didn't like you because of that stuff. I liked you in spite of all of that stuff. And please for once in your life develop your own opinion! I don't even know who you are. All you ever do is agree with me and try to please me. No girl wants that. So why do you continue with the lies?
I know this is harsh, but these are the reasons I broke up with you. Not the sugar coated "I dont want to hurt you " reasons. The 100% truth reasons. I am telling you this because I DESPERATELY WANT TO BE WITH YOU but I can't if something doesn't change. The more you continue to do these things that I stated above, the more you push me away and the shittier of a girlfriend I become.
Reasons for my behavior in a fool proof list:
1. I don't want to talk to you- I don't want to talk to you because when you talk it is either to talk about your unrealistic fantasy about getting married and being rich (which is never going to happen since you dont try at anything), or the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a lie.
2. I don't want to kiss you because I am afraid you have either just burped, or are going to burp in my face.
3. I don't want to show you any affection because you are not mature enough to handle it. You think that we are one person. NO NO. I am one person, and you are one person. you need to mature up and straighten out your priorities.
4. I don't want you to hang out with my friends because all you ever do is make up these bogus lies that no one believes and it makes my friends think that you are nothing but a poser trying too hard to impress them and me.
again, I am not doing this to hurt you, I am doing this to make you realize why I am unhappy. And honestly I don't see you figuring any of these things out for a very long time, simply because you are still in high school, and well, that isn't your fault, but I can't be with you like this. We are two very different people now. I want it to work, but I don't know how it could. Please if you decide to develop your own opinion for once in your life, then by all means, PLEASE PROVE ME WRONG.
I love you... Always will.
College has changed me so much. It has been a change for the better, but still a change. And you are still in high school so you can't understand. I know you say that you are looking toward the future, but you're not. You don't care about school, you don't care about football, you don't care about getting a job... what do you care about? How am I supposed to concentrate on college myself if I feel like I constantly have to tell you to study. I am not your mother, but I feel like if I didn't do any of that, you would never make it to college. I am not your babysitter. Our maturity levels are so different right now and you are living in this fantasy where "oh we are gonna go to college together and I can't wait to marry you!" but that is all it is; a FANTASY. Do you actually realize what it is going to take for you to get to that point?? I am living with the reality that the next 4 years are going to define my life. I am practically living on my own. I have to start thinking about getting a career that will make me successful throughout my life. How am I supposed to feel comfortable with possibly marrying someone who can't even pass math models? I know you are smart. I know you could probably make an A in that class. The only problem is, you don't care. You don't care how successful you will be one day, you dont care if you will have a stable job one day, you don't care if you are going to be able to support your family one day or not. Because if you cared about any of that, I know you would be trying so much harder. But once again, its not real to you. If you want success and happiness, you need to work at it. And right now you aren't even close.
I understand that this is your first relationship, I was the same way in my first relationship. But you have to remember that this is not my first relationship. It is not just a game to me. I hate the word "clingy" but that is exactly what you are. I need space. I need to breathe. You need to realize that you can live without me. What happened to the guy that you were when we first met? The one who said "I will never be whipped" and "If you walk out, don't expect me to come after you". Look in the mirror. If I told you to jump, you would probably ask me how high. And I HATE that. I know it sounds cliche, but I need a man to take care of me. I don't want to take care of a boy.
And then comes the whole topic of hygene. Yes I know you take plenty of showers, but that isn't what I mean. I am talking about the burping. Yes, it was funny at first when you would burp and I would say "NICE!" But it has gotten to the point where all you ever do is burp. And it is gross. Do you really have to burp after drinking water?! And then to burp right in my face right before you kiss me? No thank you. I do not like that.
Then the lying. First of all I am still pretty convinced that you in fact did smoke weed that one time that I surprised you. But that isn't even what I am talking about. How stupid do you think I am? Do you really think I EVER believed that you had a badass mustang, and stole cars, and knew a guy that made special alcohol just for you? do you really think I believed that you had a rich uncle who had your huge dog and 3 super nice super rare cars? News flash: You are not a badass. I didn't like you because of that stuff. I liked you in spite of all of that stuff. And please for once in your life develop your own opinion! I don't even know who you are. All you ever do is agree with me and try to please me. No girl wants that. So why do you continue with the lies?
I know this is harsh, but these are the reasons I broke up with you. Not the sugar coated "I dont want to hurt you " reasons. The 100% truth reasons. I am telling you this because I DESPERATELY WANT TO BE WITH YOU but I can't if something doesn't change. The more you continue to do these things that I stated above, the more you push me away and the shittier of a girlfriend I become.
Reasons for my behavior in a fool proof list:
1. I don't want to talk to you- I don't want to talk to you because when you talk it is either to talk about your unrealistic fantasy about getting married and being rich (which is never going to happen since you dont try at anything), or the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a lie.
2. I don't want to kiss you because I am afraid you have either just burped, or are going to burp in my face.
3. I don't want to show you any affection because you are not mature enough to handle it. You think that we are one person. NO NO. I am one person, and you are one person. you need to mature up and straighten out your priorities.
4. I don't want you to hang out with my friends because all you ever do is make up these bogus lies that no one believes and it makes my friends think that you are nothing but a poser trying too hard to impress them and me.
again, I am not doing this to hurt you, I am doing this to make you realize why I am unhappy. And honestly I don't see you figuring any of these things out for a very long time, simply because you are still in high school, and well, that isn't your fault, but I can't be with you like this. We are two very different people now. I want it to work, but I don't know how it could. Please if you decide to develop your own opinion for once in your life, then by all means, PLEASE PROVE ME WRONG.
I love you... Always will.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Awkward.
Yes the title of this post actually has a significance for once! You must be so proud of me :) That new show on MTV called Awkward. is seriously the story of my life. I'm kind of addicted.
On a less random note, I've got freshman orientation tomorrow and I am super nervous. I'm not so good at meeting new people. I get really shy. Not to mention that it is finally gonna put everything into perspective for me and I'm going to start getting more and more nervous about college :( help.
In need of some reassurance...
-RoxiJane
On a less random note, I've got freshman orientation tomorrow and I am super nervous. I'm not so good at meeting new people. I get really shy. Not to mention that it is finally gonna put everything into perspective for me and I'm going to start getting more and more nervous about college :( help.
In need of some reassurance...
-RoxiJane
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Serious Snogging
Why do parents have to be such a pain in the ass? It's hard enough trying to figure out who I really am and what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life, but the pressure and added stresses that they are putting on me are driving me to my end. I move into my apartment in just a couple of weeks but right now I'm not sure if I will make it that long here. I am a slave to my own parents, and if i refuse to oblige by their every command, they can easily take away my possessions, my boyfriend, my friends, my apartment, my college, and ultimately my entire future. It feels like some fucked up form of legal blackmail.
God help me.
God help me.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Don't Worry, Be Happy!
So I was using StumbleUpon earlier today and I came across this. It made me smile so I decided to share it with y'all :) enjoy!
Five Important Lessons
1. First Important Lesson-"Knowing the Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until i read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would i know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'"
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned that her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson-"Pickup In The Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole."
3. Third Important Lesson-"Remember those who serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "$0.50." replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table ad the waitress was growing impatient. "$0.35!" She brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table, and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickles and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough to leave her a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson-"The Obstacles In Our Path"
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."
5. Fifth Important Lesson-"Giving When It Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and he asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
Hope you all enjoyed that :) See? There are still good people in this world <3
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!
-RoxiJane
Five Important Lessons
1. First Important Lesson-"Knowing the Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until i read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would i know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'"
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned that her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson-"Pickup In The Rain"
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole."
3. Third Important Lesson-"Remember those who serve"
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "$0.50." replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table ad the waitress was growing impatient. "$0.35!" She brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table, and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickles and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough to leave her a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson-"The Obstacles In Our Path"
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."
5. Fifth Important Lesson-"Giving When It Counts"
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and he asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
Hope you all enjoyed that :) See? There are still good people in this world <3
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!
-RoxiJane
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Sexting ;D
Sorry I never got the Europe pics put up! As soon as I got back I had such a quick turn around and didn't have time :( and well now... I'm in Michigan until Saturday. I will upload the pics eventually I promise!
As for tonight, I'd like to take some time to talk about trust. I know what you're thinking; didn't she already have her rant about trust a few posts back? Well you're right. And that's only because trust is such a big thing to me. I will try not to be repetitive.
Last time I believe I talked about how you only get one chance at trust. I'd like to change that. Yes I know, certain situations are different. But if you screw up once, wouldn't you want to be told what you did wrong so that you could fix it first? In that case, people do deserve a second chance. However, when they fuck that second chance up, they better work their butt's off to fix it. It is like telling a child I know you didn't know any better this time, but if you steal another dollar from mommy's purse, you will be grounded. You gave the child a second chance. But odds are the next day, another dollar will go missing from your purse. It is all about communication. That's right, communication.
Communication-the imparting or exchanging of information or news.
The reason I italicized exchanging, is because it takes at least 2 people to exchange. In the scenario with the child, you may have told the child everything you should have, but who's to say that the child actually listened? It takes two to communicate and that's where the problem lies. You can rant on and on all day and night, but if the other person doesn't really listen, you will just have a repeat of the exact same situation. They will steal your dollar again.
Now how exactly does communication relate to trust? Well with relationships especially (and I'm talking any relationship, not just boyfriend and girlfriend) trust and communication go side by side. You trust the other person to communicate things to you. Hypothetically, if person A felt like he/she had to keep secrets from person B, there is a communication issue right there. Now if person B figured out that person A was keeping things from them, and calmly told them I don't care what you're doing or who you're with! As long as you just tell me :) then if person A was really listening, he/she would realize that the reason that they are with person B is because they know they can trust each other and tell each other everything. PROBLEM SOLVED... except in the case where person A didn't actually listen to person B, and decides to keep hiding things from them. That's when person B is going to get upset. REALLY upset. Person A broke person B's trust because he/she could not COMMUNICATE with person B.
TRUST=COMMUNICATION.
COMMUNICATION=TRUST
END OF STORY.
As for tonight, I'd like to take some time to talk about trust. I know what you're thinking; didn't she already have her rant about trust a few posts back? Well you're right. And that's only because trust is such a big thing to me. I will try not to be repetitive.
Last time I believe I talked about how you only get one chance at trust. I'd like to change that. Yes I know, certain situations are different. But if you screw up once, wouldn't you want to be told what you did wrong so that you could fix it first? In that case, people do deserve a second chance. However, when they fuck that second chance up, they better work their butt's off to fix it. It is like telling a child I know you didn't know any better this time, but if you steal another dollar from mommy's purse, you will be grounded. You gave the child a second chance. But odds are the next day, another dollar will go missing from your purse. It is all about communication. That's right, communication.
Communication-the imparting or exchanging of information or news.
The reason I italicized exchanging, is because it takes at least 2 people to exchange. In the scenario with the child, you may have told the child everything you should have, but who's to say that the child actually listened? It takes two to communicate and that's where the problem lies. You can rant on and on all day and night, but if the other person doesn't really listen, you will just have a repeat of the exact same situation. They will steal your dollar again.
Now how exactly does communication relate to trust? Well with relationships especially (and I'm talking any relationship, not just boyfriend and girlfriend) trust and communication go side by side. You trust the other person to communicate things to you. Hypothetically, if person A felt like he/she had to keep secrets from person B, there is a communication issue right there. Now if person B figured out that person A was keeping things from them, and calmly told them I don't care what you're doing or who you're with! As long as you just tell me :) then if person A was really listening, he/she would realize that the reason that they are with person B is because they know they can trust each other and tell each other everything. PROBLEM SOLVED... except in the case where person A didn't actually listen to person B, and decides to keep hiding things from them. That's when person B is going to get upset. REALLY upset. Person A broke person B's trust because he/she could not COMMUNICATE with person B.
TRUST=COMMUNICATION.
COMMUNICATION=TRUST
END OF STORY.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
nein!!
so for today it will just be easier to copy and post the email i sent to my boyfriend for yall. i cant upload pics yet because there is no memory card reader here. so here goes.
so today was beautiful and you know what? this keyboard is pissing me off because the z and the y are switched so from now on everytime i type a z it means y and vice versa. haha so todaz we went on the guided bus tour and i got so manz amaying photos! it is so beautiful here but we walked around for several hours afterwards again so mz feet are killin me. some random guz started following our group and the tour guide had to tell him to go awaz lol. i had some turkish food for lunch which was amaying and then for dinner we had something called currzworst. everzone had to eat it and i think thats what i got sick from. ugh. serious stomach problems right now. fml. but the weather is great. it switches from warm to cold about everz 10 minutes haha so its kinda nice. we saw the hotel that michael jackson was at when he hung the babz over the edge hahahahaaha. our tour guide for the bus tour was sooo funnz. apparentlz berlin is the gazest citz in the world hha. ill explain that when i get home. it has to do with nayis hehe. the teacher that we came with is soooo annozing though. she is so stupid. i had to tell her where to go at least 12 times todaz. zeah. me with the directional issues had to tell her where to go. theres something not right about that lol. and she onlz cares about what she wants to do and she wont let us go off on our own so we have to follow her everzwhere. she treats us like we are 10. ugh. please have fun and if anz girls give zou a hard time lemme know and ill take care of them ;) haha including rachel! ha! so anzwaz have fun at zour grill thing. i cant even describe how much i miss zou right now. i love zou so much. please text me as much as possible! i love it!
love,
zour girlfriend and future wifez :)
ps. onlz 8 more dazs until i can be in zour arms again. i miss zou sweetheart.
love,
zour girlfriend and future wifez :)
ps. onlz 8 more dazs until i can be in zour arms again. i miss zou sweetheart.
ill try again with the pics tomorrow.
goodnight guys :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Freaky-deaky dutch?!
So day one in europe is officially complete! I havent slept in almost 48 hours and I cant figure out how to work this keyboard so this one will be short! Long plane ride plus walking tour of berlin, germany was crazy. it is beautiful here! i miss my boyfriend like crazy though :( tomorrow will be the guided tour of berlin so i am pretty excited. i will try and upload some photos tomorrow but i have limited time on these computers.
hope all is well with all of yall and i wish everyone a very happy summer!
hope all is well with all of yall and i wish everyone a very happy summer!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Dirty Little Secret
Honesty is something that I value greatly. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, meaning that I will trust you until you give me a reason not to trust you anymore. Maybe that is a bad thing; trusting too easily. But it is the way I have done it my entire life. I have gotten my heart broken twice before. Both times for the same reason. I was cheated on. So you'd think that I'd have an excuse to not trust people. Yet for some reason, I still always give people the benefit of the doubt.
What I don't understand, is why people can't just be honest. If someone asks you to please be honest with them no matter what, and they even say "Just tell me and I won't be mad" then you need to tell them what's going on. I can't stand sketchy business/people. In my opinion, if you feel like you have to lie about something, or hide something from me, then you either don't know me very well, you don't trust me, or you know you did something wrong. If you fuck up...tell me. Don't hide it and let me figure it out on my own. Do people realize how badly hiding something from a person can hurt them?
I have all the reason in the world to not trust anyone. I have had ex-bestfriends that have stabbed me in the back, stolen from me, lied to me, lied about me, and gotten me in trouble for things that they did just so they could cover their own asses. I have had boyfriends that have lied to me, spoken badly behind my back, and cheated on me multiple times. I have had family lie to me, make fun of me in a hurtful way, disrespect me, and be mean to me in a physical way. To put it in short, I have been hurt by just about everyone that I have ever given my trust to. I hate myself for being so easy to trust people, but I just keep hoping that one day I will find someone who is completely honest to me 100 percent of the time.
I am starting to lose faith in the word trust though. Too many things have happened that have had a negative impact on my view of trust, and not enough things have had a positive impact. I do not want to get to the point where I simply don't trust anyone anymore, however my life seems to be headed in that direction.
This Europe trip that I am going on is coming at a perfect time. I need to get away from everything and everyone here. At least for a little while. I won't have my phone so I will have minimal contact with everyone here but that's fine with me. I just want to get out and focus on myself, and enjoy summer in such a beautiful location.
To all the liars out there, you will end up with nothing someday. Just wait and see.
What I don't understand, is why people can't just be honest. If someone asks you to please be honest with them no matter what, and they even say "Just tell me and I won't be mad" then you need to tell them what's going on. I can't stand sketchy business/people. In my opinion, if you feel like you have to lie about something, or hide something from me, then you either don't know me very well, you don't trust me, or you know you did something wrong. If you fuck up...tell me. Don't hide it and let me figure it out on my own. Do people realize how badly hiding something from a person can hurt them?
I have all the reason in the world to not trust anyone. I have had ex-bestfriends that have stabbed me in the back, stolen from me, lied to me, lied about me, and gotten me in trouble for things that they did just so they could cover their own asses. I have had boyfriends that have lied to me, spoken badly behind my back, and cheated on me multiple times. I have had family lie to me, make fun of me in a hurtful way, disrespect me, and be mean to me in a physical way. To put it in short, I have been hurt by just about everyone that I have ever given my trust to. I hate myself for being so easy to trust people, but I just keep hoping that one day I will find someone who is completely honest to me 100 percent of the time.
I am starting to lose faith in the word trust though. Too many things have happened that have had a negative impact on my view of trust, and not enough things have had a positive impact. I do not want to get to the point where I simply don't trust anyone anymore, however my life seems to be headed in that direction.
This Europe trip that I am going on is coming at a perfect time. I need to get away from everything and everyone here. At least for a little while. I won't have my phone so I will have minimal contact with everyone here but that's fine with me. I just want to get out and focus on myself, and enjoy summer in such a beautiful location.
To all the liars out there, you will end up with nothing someday. Just wait and see.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Save Me San Francisco
What an intense couple of weeks. Sorry for neglecting my blog lately. I promise to be better ;) So the Jam for Japan was a HUGE success!! The bands were all wonderful and people really enjoyed being there. We raised almost $3,000 for the American Red Cross to go toward Japan relief! I am so proud of myself and everyone else who helped organize this event! Even though I will be graduated, I hope the graphic design class carries this on as tradition and hosts an event next year that is even better!
Today is my last day of high school...EVER! I have my astronomy exam in just a few hours, and I really should be studying, but I'm too excited to even begin to focus on that. Tomorrow I can relax and sleep late, and then thursday morning, we have our "senior breakfast" at the school, followed by graduation rehearsal. Yeah... apparently we have to practice standing in straight lines.... HA. Oh well, it just means I am one step closer to actually walking across that stage!!
My friends and I attempted to pull what could have potentially been the best senior prank in the history of our schools' senior pranks. We were going to close all of the gates leading into the parking lot so that students and busses would not be able to leave, and parents would not be able to get in. Funny right? Yeah well everything was going great until the volleyball coach decided to leave early. She ended up calling the security guards, and they got the locks cut before school even let out. It was a huge dissapointment. However it did accomplish one thing; Pissing off a lot of the faculty! And that's all that matters ;)
My graduation ceremony is this Saturday! I can't believe that it is less than 5 days away! My whole family is coming into town to watch me walk across the stage and I am just so excited! Wow, I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it. All of this stress building up these past few weeks is just...gone. I feel so great. After graduation my family and I are going out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants; Kobe Steakhouse. YUM. And then 2 days later on monday, I leave for europe! Yes, that's right, I am going to Europe :) It won't be my first time in Europe since my grandma lives in the Netherlands, however, it will be my first time going on my own, without my parents! I will be touring Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and The Czech Republic! I will try to keep my blog updated on a daily basis and let everyone know how things are and what I did every day of my trip, but hotel internet is unreliable, and I will not be staying in the same hotel for more than one night. It is going to be such a fantastic experience though!
Can you tell how much better/less stressed I am? My posts are about to start getting a hell of a lot more interesting :)
Have a wonderful day, and a fantastic summer everyone!
Today is my last day of high school...EVER! I have my astronomy exam in just a few hours, and I really should be studying, but I'm too excited to even begin to focus on that. Tomorrow I can relax and sleep late, and then thursday morning, we have our "senior breakfast" at the school, followed by graduation rehearsal. Yeah... apparently we have to practice standing in straight lines.... HA. Oh well, it just means I am one step closer to actually walking across that stage!!
My friends and I attempted to pull what could have potentially been the best senior prank in the history of our schools' senior pranks. We were going to close all of the gates leading into the parking lot so that students and busses would not be able to leave, and parents would not be able to get in. Funny right? Yeah well everything was going great until the volleyball coach decided to leave early. She ended up calling the security guards, and they got the locks cut before school even let out. It was a huge dissapointment. However it did accomplish one thing; Pissing off a lot of the faculty! And that's all that matters ;)
My graduation ceremony is this Saturday! I can't believe that it is less than 5 days away! My whole family is coming into town to watch me walk across the stage and I am just so excited! Wow, I'm tearing up right now just thinking about it. All of this stress building up these past few weeks is just...gone. I feel so great. After graduation my family and I are going out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants; Kobe Steakhouse. YUM. And then 2 days later on monday, I leave for europe! Yes, that's right, I am going to Europe :) It won't be my first time in Europe since my grandma lives in the Netherlands, however, it will be my first time going on my own, without my parents! I will be touring Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and The Czech Republic! I will try to keep my blog updated on a daily basis and let everyone know how things are and what I did every day of my trip, but hotel internet is unreliable, and I will not be staying in the same hotel for more than one night. It is going to be such a fantastic experience though!
Can you tell how much better/less stressed I am? My posts are about to start getting a hell of a lot more interesting :)
Have a wonderful day, and a fantastic summer everyone!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Jam for Japan!
Helloooo afternoon class!!! This is my personal blog, but I PROMISE you guys that nothing I write about has anything to do with the title of my blog. It is simply an attention grabber haha :)
My first order of business is that I'd like to thank Kameron specifically for creating his blog to keep us informed on whats going on with yall. It will help so much!
Secondly, here's what happened in this morning's (6/2) meeting! WE WILL BE PUTTING A SLIP-AND-SLIDE DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATRIUM! ...........just kidding.. Heres the real list of everything that we discussed :)
1. Krissy was able to bring 3 coolers, 400 hot cups, 200 cold cups, and 400 napkins! Go Krissy!
2. Ryan was able to bring a cooler and spoke to an art store and got quite a few things. He was able to make a deal for everyone who buys a poster, to get 10%off of a custom frame from her store. The woman was also more than happy to donate some raffle items, and even asked us if we would be willing to use her studio space on June 25 to host another art show! If anyone would be interested in that, let us know!
3. We could still use more coolers since we are going to have to transport all of the food plus the 300lbs of ice.
4. Mrs. Harman was able to get her son to add to the raffle items, and put in things like mugs and keychains, and even possibly one free hellicopter lesson! Not kidding!
5. We still are going to need more cups, plates, napkins, and plasticware, red if possible. Kameron said he was willing to get these things, however, those items can get a bit pricy and I am sure he would be thankful if anyone else could help out with that too!
6. As for me, I specifically need a few things for the food. I desperately need large tupperware boxes to put the food in for transport in the coolers, and I need lots of sample cups! The kind that grocery stores put their food samples in! If anyone at all can get any of those things, please bring it up to the school tomorrow!! I will be up here after school to pick everything up.
7. We have been passing out flyers at the middle school next to us, and have gotten a very positive response from many of the kids! :)
8. We still need people to sign up for Coffee Manager and Japan Card Overseer. The coffee manager will be handling all of the coffee pots, and pouring coffee for anyone who comes by and would like some. The Japan Card Overseer needs to be responsible. We are planning of posting a huge piece of paper on the wall with our logo in the center, and allowing people to sign their names and/or write a little message to the people of Japan. We will be sending this card with the donations to the American Red Cross. The Japan Card Overseer needs to be in charge of the markers. A person will come up to you and pay 25 cents to use a marker and write on the card. We need to make sure we get ALL of the markers back!
9. We noticed that Kameron was also signed up to bring tortilla chips. I am not sure if he is still willing to do so or not, but eiter way, we are going to need MULTIPLE people to bring tortilla chips! We have 2 different dips that require tortilla chips, and have a feeling that these will be very popular.
10. Everyone please wear your Jam for Japan t-shirt tomorrow!
11. We are also planning on selling cans of sodas for $1 (profits go to Japan of course) but in order to do that, we will need soda donations. A few people in the morning class will be buying some sodas but the more we have, the better. We will sell them until we run out.
12. WE NEED POWER STRIPS AND EXTENTION CORDS!
13. If anyone has walkie-talkies please bring those
14. Miekala- Please bring the face painting book, as well as another kit if possible
15. Today our main goal is to get everything priced out.
16. If we could get another roll of tickets in a different color that would be great! we will have 2 different raffles-one small item raffle, and one large item raffle.
17. Last thing, we need sugar, non-dairy creamer, and stirring sticks for the coffee. And if anyone is willing to possibly raid Pei Wei or some other Asian resturant and maybe steal some fortune cookies.......... we thought that those might be cute to help decorate the food table.
I believe that is all for today. I know it is a lot. And if i think of anything else, I will text Kameron and let him know. Thanks for all your hard work!!! I am so excited!
My first order of business is that I'd like to thank Kameron specifically for creating his blog to keep us informed on whats going on with yall. It will help so much!
Secondly, here's what happened in this morning's (6/2) meeting! WE WILL BE PUTTING A SLIP-AND-SLIDE DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATRIUM! ...........just kidding.. Heres the real list of everything that we discussed :)
1. Krissy was able to bring 3 coolers, 400 hot cups, 200 cold cups, and 400 napkins! Go Krissy!
2. Ryan was able to bring a cooler and spoke to an art store and got quite a few things. He was able to make a deal for everyone who buys a poster, to get 10%off of a custom frame from her store. The woman was also more than happy to donate some raffle items, and even asked us if we would be willing to use her studio space on June 25 to host another art show! If anyone would be interested in that, let us know!
3. We could still use more coolers since we are going to have to transport all of the food plus the 300lbs of ice.
4. Mrs. Harman was able to get her son to add to the raffle items, and put in things like mugs and keychains, and even possibly one free hellicopter lesson! Not kidding!
5. We still are going to need more cups, plates, napkins, and plasticware, red if possible. Kameron said he was willing to get these things, however, those items can get a bit pricy and I am sure he would be thankful if anyone else could help out with that too!
6. As for me, I specifically need a few things for the food. I desperately need large tupperware boxes to put the food in for transport in the coolers, and I need lots of sample cups! The kind that grocery stores put their food samples in! If anyone at all can get any of those things, please bring it up to the school tomorrow!! I will be up here after school to pick everything up.
7. We have been passing out flyers at the middle school next to us, and have gotten a very positive response from many of the kids! :)
8. We still need people to sign up for Coffee Manager and Japan Card Overseer. The coffee manager will be handling all of the coffee pots, and pouring coffee for anyone who comes by and would like some. The Japan Card Overseer needs to be responsible. We are planning of posting a huge piece of paper on the wall with our logo in the center, and allowing people to sign their names and/or write a little message to the people of Japan. We will be sending this card with the donations to the American Red Cross. The Japan Card Overseer needs to be in charge of the markers. A person will come up to you and pay 25 cents to use a marker and write on the card. We need to make sure we get ALL of the markers back!
9. We noticed that Kameron was also signed up to bring tortilla chips. I am not sure if he is still willing to do so or not, but eiter way, we are going to need MULTIPLE people to bring tortilla chips! We have 2 different dips that require tortilla chips, and have a feeling that these will be very popular.
10. Everyone please wear your Jam for Japan t-shirt tomorrow!
11. We are also planning on selling cans of sodas for $1 (profits go to Japan of course) but in order to do that, we will need soda donations. A few people in the morning class will be buying some sodas but the more we have, the better. We will sell them until we run out.
12. WE NEED POWER STRIPS AND EXTENTION CORDS!
13. If anyone has walkie-talkies please bring those
14. Miekala- Please bring the face painting book, as well as another kit if possible
15. Today our main goal is to get everything priced out.
16. If we could get another roll of tickets in a different color that would be great! we will have 2 different raffles-one small item raffle, and one large item raffle.
17. Last thing, we need sugar, non-dairy creamer, and stirring sticks for the coffee. And if anyone is willing to possibly raid Pei Wei or some other Asian resturant and maybe steal some fortune cookies.......... we thought that those might be cute to help decorate the food table.
I believe that is all for today. I know it is a lot. And if i think of anything else, I will text Kameron and let him know. Thanks for all your hard work!!! I am so excited!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Perspective
Stress seems to accumulate in our lives throughout our high school years. Freshman year you think you can't handle all of the new responsibilities as the amount of work you must do increases. Sophomore year you look back at freshman year and are thankful for how easy it truly was, because work is even harder and more time consuming now. Junior year, you almost beg to go back to freshman and sophomore years because with the addition of advanced classes and the pressure of getting your GPA up, your stress level goes through the roof. And then comes senior year. Senior year is supposed to be the year of partying and living it up. It is supposed to be the year of little stress and blow-off classes. But once you reach your senior year, you realize that it is anything but all of those things. Yes, some things are great, like senior out, and no curfew. However with the impending pressure of making sure you pass all of your classes, and getting accepted to the university of your dreams, or making the decision of which university you want to commit to, stress reaches new extremes. On top of all of that you have to worry about sending graduation invites out, then sending thank you cards, filling out all of the paperwork that goes along with registering for college, and so many other things that you will not understand until you actually experience it for yourself.
I'm not going to lie. I am terrified. College seems like such a scary thing to me. Exciting... but scary. It will be the first time I have ever lived away from this very house, and the first time that I will be on my own and have the responsibility of making sure I get everything done myself, because I wont have my parents there to constantly remind me. I'm nervous for the classes and I'm praying that I don't get too stressed, but as you can tell, I do not handle stress very well. My boyfriend and I are going to stay together since it will be his senior year in high school and I will be staying pretty close for college, but as much as I love him and want to stay with him, I just know that the distance is going to just be one more stress that I am going to have to deal with. I am praying that we can make it. It also doesn't help that none of my friends will be attending UTA with me next year. My friends are my everything and it is going to be an extremely scary thing to have to make all new friends. I am going to miss everyone so much. Wow, I am tearing up just thinking about this already. I have a feeling that my nerves on college will be the subject of most of my posts for a while now.
On a separate note, we got a new puppy! His name is Pete and he is half chihuahua and half weiner dog. He is so ugly that he is actually pretty cute, if that makes sense. All he does all day is run around in circles and follow my sister and I around until he gets hungry or has to pee. He is also a cuddler. He loves to curl up underneath a blanket with us and sleep there. I love him already :)
So long, bloggers.
I'm not going to lie. I am terrified. College seems like such a scary thing to me. Exciting... but scary. It will be the first time I have ever lived away from this very house, and the first time that I will be on my own and have the responsibility of making sure I get everything done myself, because I wont have my parents there to constantly remind me. I'm nervous for the classes and I'm praying that I don't get too stressed, but as you can tell, I do not handle stress very well. My boyfriend and I are going to stay together since it will be his senior year in high school and I will be staying pretty close for college, but as much as I love him and want to stay with him, I just know that the distance is going to just be one more stress that I am going to have to deal with. I am praying that we can make it. It also doesn't help that none of my friends will be attending UTA with me next year. My friends are my everything and it is going to be an extremely scary thing to have to make all new friends. I am going to miss everyone so much. Wow, I am tearing up just thinking about this already. I have a feeling that my nerves on college will be the subject of most of my posts for a while now.
On a separate note, we got a new puppy! His name is Pete and he is half chihuahua and half weiner dog. He is so ugly that he is actually pretty cute, if that makes sense. All he does all day is run around in circles and follow my sister and I around until he gets hungry or has to pee. He is also a cuddler. He loves to curl up underneath a blanket with us and sleep there. I love him already :)
 |
| This is Pete :) |
More tomorrow, I hope.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Crayons can melt on us for all I care.
stress stresS streSS strESS stRESS sTRESS STRESS! Can you tell I am a bit stressed at the moment? ha.. a bit stressed.. thats a bit of an understatement. Here is my To-Do list!
1. Bake cookies and other finger foods for an event tomorrow evening.
2. Get 3 bands to confirm for the fundraiser event on June 4th
3. Register for college
4. Get and send final transcript to college
5. Register for classes at UT Arlington
6. Buy supplies for Europe trip this summer
7. Plan decorations for fundraiser event
8. Plan and make food for fundraiser event
9. Do 6 weeks of Government homework in 3 weeks
10. Finish portfolio for the graphic design Media Arts Review
11. Keep this blog updated
12. Address and mail graduation invitations
13. Get a hold of the high school newspaper and news broadcasting class and get a story about the fundraiser published
14. Make time for my friends whom I have been unintentionally neglecting
15. Make time for my amazing boyfriend
16. Make sure I pass astronomy
...There's probably more but as you can tell, my mind is already so consumed with all of these things, that I am having trouble focusing on anything specific.
I hope I'm not doing too much... I hope I can handle this... and I hope it all works out...
That's all for today. Now to get started on this list.......
1. Bake cookies and other finger foods for an event tomorrow evening.
2. Get 3 bands to confirm for the fundraiser event on June 4th
3. Register for college
4. Get and send final transcript to college
5. Register for classes at UT Arlington
6. Buy supplies for Europe trip this summer
7. Plan decorations for fundraiser event
8. Plan and make food for fundraiser event
9. Do 6 weeks of Government homework in 3 weeks
10. Finish portfolio for the graphic design Media Arts Review
11. Keep this blog updated
12. Address and mail graduation invitations
13. Get a hold of the high school newspaper and news broadcasting class and get a story about the fundraiser published
14. Make time for my friends whom I have been unintentionally neglecting
15. Make time for my amazing boyfriend
16. Make sure I pass astronomy
...There's probably more but as you can tell, my mind is already so consumed with all of these things, that I am having trouble focusing on anything specific.
I hope I'm not doing too much... I hope I can handle this... and I hope it all works out...
That's all for today. Now to get started on this list.......
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Crazy Bitch
Today was interesting, to say the least. Waking up to a room that is darker at that time, than it was the night before when you went to sleep is a terribly confusing occurrence. You wake up and find yourself thinking that you have gone insane for waking up before the sun! Then you look at your clock and find out it's noon already... mind=blown. Thats how you know that it is going to be a good day; when you wake up, and nothing makes sense. It wasn't until I stepped into the shower that I realized I had been humming to the tune of my ringtone Big Girls, you are Beautiful by Mika. Go listen to it and tell me that that's not embarrassing. Well after my shower I looked down at the clothes I had selected to wear, then looked at my comfy pj's and decided that it was a pajama day.
There's always some sort of comfort in being able to sit on your couch with messy hair, with no make-up, wearing dorky pajamas, and watching Criminal Minds while listening to the rain, and not have to worry about anyone judging how you look. It is very peaceful, which is exactly what I needed.
I did a lot of thinking today. I realized I haven't been making as much time for my friends as I should. And I don't necessarily mean hanging out with them, I mean even just talking to them. Like my friend Mo for example. He texted me this morning and I realized that it must have been at least 3 weeks since we spoke last. Him and I used to talk every day without fail. I miss that. Then there's my friend Donnie. Him and I have somewhat of a history together, but have remained close friends throughout it all. (That is all a story for a different time). But I realized that it has been weeks since I have seen him. When his car broke down today it was the perfect opportunity to see him. Since my boyfriend is a car guy it was only common sense that we went to help Donnie out. It was good seeing him. Then Clint and I got some alone time before he had to go to choir practice for his church. We spend about an hour just finding and playing random apps on our iPhones together. We always find something to do. When Clint left, "shit hit the fans" unfortunately. My dad decided to get angry for literally no reason at all. He ended up leaving. Now, when I am stressed out or mad I do one of three things: I either drive my car like a bat out of hell (unfortunately I still do not have my poor little car back yet), blast my "angry" music really loud, or I bake.
So tonight for dinner, I baked my family a beautiful garlic, sage, and rosemary chicken, with roasted potatoes and various veggies. It was fantastic, to say the least. And for dessert I made a chocolate canoli cake which my mom tells me also turned out great (At that point I was too full from the delicious chicken to eat any of the dessert). My dad finally came home, made himself a plate for dinner, ate the dessert I made, and didn't say a word to me. I'd prefer that over the yelling any day.
So what I learned today is that friends are there for you no matter what. And good friends will stick by you even when you fuck up. So try your best to make time for them, even if it is just to say hi a couple times a week. Also, when someone is angry for no apparent reason, it is best to just keep quiet and let them realize how stupid they are being on their own. They will never admit they were wrong, but if you fight back, you are only going to make it worse.
So have a great week, fellow bloggers!
This is me, Signing off.
....... ha.
There's always some sort of comfort in being able to sit on your couch with messy hair, with no make-up, wearing dorky pajamas, and watching Criminal Minds while listening to the rain, and not have to worry about anyone judging how you look. It is very peaceful, which is exactly what I needed.
I did a lot of thinking today. I realized I haven't been making as much time for my friends as I should. And I don't necessarily mean hanging out with them, I mean even just talking to them. Like my friend Mo for example. He texted me this morning and I realized that it must have been at least 3 weeks since we spoke last. Him and I used to talk every day without fail. I miss that. Then there's my friend Donnie. Him and I have somewhat of a history together, but have remained close friends throughout it all. (That is all a story for a different time). But I realized that it has been weeks since I have seen him. When his car broke down today it was the perfect opportunity to see him. Since my boyfriend is a car guy it was only common sense that we went to help Donnie out. It was good seeing him. Then Clint and I got some alone time before he had to go to choir practice for his church. We spend about an hour just finding and playing random apps on our iPhones together. We always find something to do. When Clint left, "shit hit the fans" unfortunately. My dad decided to get angry for literally no reason at all. He ended up leaving. Now, when I am stressed out or mad I do one of three things: I either drive my car like a bat out of hell (unfortunately I still do not have my poor little car back yet), blast my "angry" music really loud, or I bake.
So tonight for dinner, I baked my family a beautiful garlic, sage, and rosemary chicken, with roasted potatoes and various veggies. It was fantastic, to say the least. And for dessert I made a chocolate canoli cake which my mom tells me also turned out great (At that point I was too full from the delicious chicken to eat any of the dessert). My dad finally came home, made himself a plate for dinner, ate the dessert I made, and didn't say a word to me. I'd prefer that over the yelling any day.
So what I learned today is that friends are there for you no matter what. And good friends will stick by you even when you fuck up. So try your best to make time for them, even if it is just to say hi a couple times a week. Also, when someone is angry for no apparent reason, it is best to just keep quiet and let them realize how stupid they are being on their own. They will never admit they were wrong, but if you fight back, you are only going to make it worse.
So have a great week, fellow bloggers!
This is me, Signing off.
....... ha.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Threesome? It's a long one ;)
Four letter words intrigue me. The most popular of which, all seem to have some sort of a negative connotation: F**k, S**t, C**t, D**k, and L**e. You've probably figured out what the first four words are supposed to be, but what's the last word you ask? It's love. Now, why would the word love be grouped with a bunch of negative four letter words? Because to most people, L-O-V-E is just another way of saying yet another four letter word; F-A-K-E. Starting from a very early age, men and women learn that love doesn't really exist, fairy tales are just for the movies, and happy endings are filled with hate. And it is our own fault that we believe this. With divorce becoming more socially acceptable, people do not think about the consequences of marrying someone that is potentially wrong for them. We lose faith in the term soul mate. And all people focus on is not being alone, so we marry the first person that comes along and is willing to ask that question. You say you love them. They say they love you. But ladies and gentlemen, stop kidding yourselves. That word is overused and abused by so many that we ultimately teach our children that love is meaningless. Do you love your friends and family? Yes! Of course! But that is a completely different kind of love. I'm talking about the true love between people that are meant to spend the rest of their lives together.
We've all seen the household where the parents love each other, yet they never seem to talk, or do anything together. We've all seen the household where the parents don't sleep in the same bedroom, but stay married "for the sake of the children". And of course we've all seen the households where the parents are divorced, because it turns out that their love wasn't true after all.
I used to agree with this completely. I have had two boyfriends before Clint. Both told me they loved me. And both cheated on me. Is that what love is? Just a word that means nothing, and is only said in the midst of a fight to cover someone's ass? "Honey I know I cheated but you know I love you!" BULLSHIT. If you love them, you have no reason to cheat. After my second boyfriend and I broke up, I gave up on love. I decided to just play around. I would date several guys at the same time, go on multiple dates every day, kiss lots of different guys... even guys that were good friends with each other. I stirred up a lot of conflict between them. But at that point, to me, a simple kiss was totally meaningless. Because love and relationships didn't exist.
Then I met Clint. I didn't even know who he was at first. But we raced each other on our way back to our home campus'. As soon as that first race ended (he won), I told myself I have to meet that guy. We continued to race a few times a week and it was fun. I was always too scared to go talk to him in person though. One day, whether it was fate, God, or just mere coincidence, we ended up both volunteering for the same thing at the Career Center. This is my chance! I have to talk to him! Well lucky me, he made the first move; asked for my number, complimented my hair, and smiled at me. From that first smile, something just hit me. And I knew he was different. Now, I know there are plenty of skeptics on the whole subject of "love at first sight" especially since I am only 18 years old. Trust me, I used to be one of those skeptics. But if you have ever experienced this feeling, you will understand. From the moment I met him, I never wanted to be away from him. It felt so natural. I am no longer a skeptic anymore. I am 18 years old, and roughly a month ago, I met the boy that I am one day, going to marry. Criticize me if you will, but that just means that you haven't been lucky enough to feel the connection that Clint and I have felt from day one. You may think I'm naive, but if you were to meet Clint and I, you'd be surprised that we weren't already married. Even my dad has commented on our relationship, and he used to be the biggest skeptic I knew.
So fellow bloggers, stop abusing the word love. If you don't know for sure, then you don't love him/her. Stop marrying people just because you are afraid to be alone. You will never be happy that way. I now believe that everyone has that someone waiting for them somewhere. Some of us find that person. Some of us never will. But do not sacrifice your happiness no matter what. I am one of the lucky ones to have this stability when I am so young. I hope after reading this, others will be inspired to hold out and wait until they meet the one.
"Do not wait for the one you can live with; Wait for the one that you can not live without."
There Is Always A Calm Before The Storm
Earlier this week, the love of my life was severely injured and it was all my fault. Her name was Sadie and I'm miserable without her. I did everything with her. Sadie and I did some of the dumbest things. I will take this time to reminisce. There was once where we took a road trip to a casino and she had her top off the entire drive! Also, Sadie and I would always race people while driving. Neither of us could turn down a good challenge. Without her, I probably would not have met my boyfriend. I feel responsible for what has happened to her even though the real cause of her injury was a previous injury that went undetected for weeks. Sadie is now in intensive care and will remain there until she recovers, or God forbid we can no longer afford the bills :(
Yes, Sadie was my car. She was a beautiful 2007 GT Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Unfortunately while driving to the Career Center where I take my Graphic Design class, her brakes locked up. She is not totaled but my family does not know if we have the money to cover the repairs :( It has been a tough week without her.
To all you fellow bloggers out there
Have a great weekend.. and drive safe.
 |
| Sadie and I before the accident^^ |
 |
| Sadie and I after the accident^^ |
Yes, Sadie was my car. She was a beautiful 2007 GT Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Unfortunately while driving to the Career Center where I take my Graphic Design class, her brakes locked up. She is not totaled but my family does not know if we have the money to cover the repairs :( It has been a tough week without her.
To all you fellow bloggers out there
Have a great weekend.. and drive safe.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Caring is Creepy
You know the feeling you get when you are driving around and you notice that the same car has been following you for several blocks? Yeah.. well do you know the feeling you get when you are the person that is doing the following unintentionally?? My friend, K, was on her way to my house tonight so that I could return some clothes I had borrowed from her a few weeks ago. While she was driving, she ended up behind some random truck. No big deal, right? Well it turns out that that truck was going the exact same way as her... for several streets. K felt bad and hoped the guy didn't think she was following him, Then all of the sudden, the asshole pulls over and rolls down his window as if to say something to her! Not knowing what else to do, K sped around him and continued on to my house. However, the minute she passed the truck, he pulled out and started following her!! She sped up. He sped up. She turned left. He turned left. Obviously K was scared now. What I don't understand is why this guy would turn around and follow her! Obviously since she passed him, she wasn't following him! Some people...
On a more positive note, my boyfriend came back over around 8:00 or so to see me :) he's got curfew at 9:30 (he is a year younger than me) so we just sat outside in the bed of his truck since it was such a beautiful night. I wish you could see stars where I lived. That would have made my evening simply perfect. Oh well. It was nice being able to just lay there with him, not talking. Just listening to the sound of the wind and eachothers' slow steady breaths. Such a peaceful night. He is amazing. (Except when he teases me about being so excited about this blog haha)
Well I think this will be all for the night. Sweet dreams to the rest of the world.
Blow Jobs
I was sitting in my graphic design class today, bored nearly to tears, and in the middle of an attempt to hack my dads Netflix account via the school computer when I came to the conclusion that my life was officially interesting enough to create a blog. Being somewhat of a "spazz" I got all excited and nearly deafened the boy sitting next to me. His name is Ryan, and he can do pretty much anything. Naturally I asked for his help in creating this site. I will admit that coming up with the name for the blog was by far the hardest part of the whole process. Ryan and I went through many ideas before we came up with "sex dreams". At first, both of us just laughed at the idea and thought how funny it would be if someone just randomly came across it. Then I thought, What better way to grab peoples' attention! It's a little like a book my mom read a while ago called The Sex Life of Cannibals. It had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with cannibals or their sex lives. It was simply an attention grabber. And thus the name Sex Dreams was corroborated.
By the time I was satisfied with the appearance of my blog, I realized that I had no time to actually write my first post! So as soon as I got home, I pulled up my laptop and was about to begin writing, when my boyfriend, Clint, walked through the front door. Ugh, another distraction. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with him, but all I wanted to do was finish just one post! So I told him to sit down and watch a movie... unfortunately his movie of choice was the 1995 film Friday (for those of you who have never seen it, I dare you to go watch it all the way through without pissing your pants from laughing so hard) so once again I was distracted. Luckily his mom called soon after and told him that he needed to come home, and I could finally focus. So here we are... up to the present... and I'm all out of stories for the moment... I'm sure I will have more than enough more interesting stories before the night is over. But for now, I will say "so long fellow bloggers!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)