Threesome? It's a long one ;)

Four letter words intrigue me. The most popular of which, all seem to have some sort of a negative connotation: F**k, S**t, C**t, D**k, and L**e. You've probably figured out what the first four words are supposed to be, but what's the last word you ask? It's love. Now, why would the word love be grouped with a bunch of negative four letter words? Because to most people, L-O-V-E is just another way of saying yet another four letter word; F-A-K-E. Starting from a very early age, men and women learn that love doesn't really exist, fairy tales are just for the movies, and happy endings are filled with hate. And it is our own fault that we believe this. With divorce becoming more socially acceptable, people do not think about the consequences of marrying someone that is potentially wrong for them. We lose faith in the term soul mate. And all people focus on is not being alone, so we marry the first person that comes along and is willing to ask that question. You say you love them. They say they love you. But ladies and gentlemen, stop kidding yourselves. That word is overused and abused by so many that we ultimately teach our children that love is meaningless. Do you love your friends and family? Yes! Of course! But that is a completely different kind of love. I'm talking about the true love between people that are meant to spend the rest of their lives together.

We've all seen the household where the parents love each other, yet they never seem to talk, or do anything together. We've all seen the household where the parents don't sleep in the same bedroom, but stay married "for the sake of the children". And of course we've all seen the households where the parents are divorced, because it turns out that their love wasn't true after all. 

I used to agree with this completely. I have had two boyfriends before Clint. Both told me they loved me. And both cheated on me. Is that what love is? Just a word that means nothing, and is only said in the midst of a fight to cover someone's ass? "Honey I know I cheated but you know I love you!" BULLSHIT. If you love them, you have no reason to cheat. After my second boyfriend and I broke up, I gave up on love. I decided to just play around. I would date several guys at the same time, go on multiple dates every day, kiss lots of different guys... even guys that were good friends with each other. I stirred up a lot of conflict between them. But at that point, to me, a simple kiss was totally meaningless. Because love and relationships didn't exist. 

Then I met Clint. I didn't even know who he was at first. But we raced each other on our way back to our home campus'. As soon as that first race ended (he won), I told myself I have to meet that guy. We continued to race a few times a week and it was fun. I was always too scared to go talk to him in person though. One day, whether it was fate, God, or just mere coincidence, we ended up both volunteering for the same thing at the Career Center. This is my chance! I have to talk to him! Well lucky me, he made the first move; asked for my number, complimented my hair, and smiled at me. From that first smile, something just hit me. And I knew he was different. Now, I know there are plenty of skeptics on the whole subject of "love at first sight" especially since I am only 18 years old. Trust me, I used to be one of those skeptics. But if you have ever experienced this feeling, you will understand. From the moment I met him, I never wanted to be away from him. It felt so natural. I am no longer a skeptic anymore. I am 18 years old, and roughly a month ago, I met the boy that I am one day, going to marry. Criticize me if you will, but that just means that you haven't been lucky enough to feel the connection that Clint and I have felt from day one. You may think I'm naive, but if you were to meet Clint and I, you'd be surprised that we weren't already married. Even my dad has commented on our relationship, and he used to be the biggest skeptic I knew. 

So fellow bloggers, stop abusing the word love. If you don't know for sure, then you don't love him/her. Stop marrying people just because you are afraid to be alone. You will never be happy that way. I now believe that everyone has that someone waiting for them somewhere. Some of us find that person. Some of us never will. But do not sacrifice your happiness no matter what. I am one of the lucky ones to have this stability when I am so young. I hope after reading this, others will be inspired to hold out and wait until they meet the one.

"Do not wait for the one you can live with; Wait for the one that you can not live without."

There Is Always A Calm Before The Storm

Earlier this week, the love of my life was severely injured and it was all my fault. Her name was Sadie and I'm miserable without her. I did everything with her. Sadie and I did some of the dumbest things. I will take this time to reminisce. There was once where we took a road trip to a casino and she had her top off the entire drive! Also, Sadie and I would always race people while driving. Neither of us could turn down a good challenge. Without her, I probably would not have met my boyfriend. I feel responsible for what has happened to her even though the real cause of her injury was a previous injury that went undetected for weeks. Sadie is now in intensive care and will remain there until she recovers, or God forbid we can no longer afford the bills :(

Sadie and I before the accident^^

Sadie and I after the accident^^

Yes, Sadie was my car. She was a beautiful 2007 GT Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Unfortunately while driving to the Career Center where I take my Graphic Design class, her brakes locked up. She is not totaled but my family does not know if we have the money to cover the repairs :( It has been a tough week without her.

To all you fellow bloggers out there
Have a great weekend.. and drive safe.

Caring is Creepy

You know the feeling you get when you are driving around and you notice that the same car has been following you for several blocks? Yeah.. well do you know the feeling you get when you are the person that is doing the following unintentionally?? My friend, K, was on her way to my house tonight so that I could return some clothes I had borrowed from her a few weeks ago. While she was driving, she ended up behind some random truck. No big deal, right? Well it turns out that that truck was going the exact same way as her... for several streets. K felt bad and hoped the guy didn't think she was following him, Then all of the sudden, the asshole pulls over and rolls down his window as if to say something to her! Not knowing what else to do, K sped around him and continued on to my house. However, the minute she passed the truck, he pulled out and started following her!! She sped up. He sped up. She turned left. He turned left. Obviously K was scared now. What I don't understand is why this guy would turn around and follow her! Obviously since she passed him, she wasn't following him! Some people...

On a more positive note, my boyfriend came back over around 8:00 or so to see me :) he's got curfew at 9:30 (he is a year younger than me) so we just sat outside in the bed of his truck since it was such a beautiful night. I wish you could see stars where I lived. That would have made my evening simply perfect. Oh well. It was nice being able to just lay there with him, not talking. Just listening to the sound of the wind and eachothers' slow steady breaths. Such a peaceful night. He is amazing. (Except when he teases me about being so excited about this blog haha)

Well I think this will be all for the night. Sweet dreams to the rest of the world.

Blow Jobs

I was sitting in my graphic design class today, bored nearly to tears, and in the middle of an attempt to hack my dads Netflix account via the school computer when I came to the conclusion that my life was officially interesting enough to create a blog. Being somewhat of a "spazz" I got all excited and nearly deafened the boy sitting next to me. His name is Ryan, and he can do pretty much anything. Naturally I asked for his help in creating this site. I will admit that coming up with the name for the blog was by far the hardest part of the whole process. Ryan and I went through many ideas before we came up with "sex dreams". At first, both of us just laughed at the idea and thought how funny it would be if someone just randomly came across it. Then I thought, What better way to grab peoples' attention! It's a little like a book my mom read a while ago called The Sex Life of Cannibals. It had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with cannibals or their sex lives. It was simply an attention grabber. And thus the name Sex Dreams was corroborated. 

By the time I was satisfied with the appearance of my blog, I realized that I had no time to actually write my first post! So as soon as I got home, I pulled up my laptop and was about to begin writing, when my boyfriend, Clint, walked through the front door. Ugh, another distraction. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with him, but all I wanted to do was finish just one post! So I told him to sit down and watch a movie... unfortunately his movie of choice was the 1995 film Friday (for those of you who have never seen it, I dare you to go watch it all the way through without pissing your pants from laughing so hard) so once again I was distracted. Luckily his mom called soon after and told him that he needed to come home, and I could finally focus. So here we are... up to the present... and I'm all out of stories for the moment... I'm sure I will have more than enough more interesting stories before the night is over. But for now, I will say "so long fellow bloggers!"